The Calling Rising From the Ruin

The Calling Rising From the Ruin
     When we were celebrating our mid autumn festival, across the ocean, the relatives of the victims of the 9. 11 tragedy were holding each other, crying, blessing for their love and all the survivors. It's not only a tragedy for American people, but also for the global community.
     The nt of September 11th, 2001 continues to change the world in ways we have to experience or comprehend. Every disaster can awaken some spirit, and this time it aroused the deepest echo from people's hearts. The calling can be heard from the ruin for the millions who bear witness to their memory.
     Nr can be another time that es are so demanded.Seeing the collapse of the WTC, many people just stood in shock, crying in fears. The black smoke rising against the blue sky covered the sun over the people, and tore up the faith down in their hearts as well. Man is supported by the courage to carry on. It is obvious that the es in the calamity, dying just doing what they do, rebuild the dignity on the srely wounded ones.Everyone remembers the firemen dashing up the stairs while there are loads of people running down the stairs in the WTC.Also on Flight 93, 40 people, not n knowing one another's name, came together to protect the country. The whole nation memorizes all those sacrificed; regard them as the es,no matter what they have contributed.  As their tiny deeds to gether let the nation see signs to recover, to go through the very hard time. Now ryone's life is surrounded by the es and new es are being born out of the tragedy...
      One of the most touching story in the devastating time was that one huand sent a sms, just saying "I love you", to his dear one on the crashing plane. It echoed in ryone's emotion senses. Love is the greatest gift that God gave us. It can really to heal man's wound. Couples, friends, all went out, wandering together in the dawn, seeing the sun set for the first time in their ages. Without their jobs, they came to realize the meaning of peacel life and learn what they need most was the love from the people around them.  We learn to appreciate others' love and sending ours in return. Thank God we have some ones to love. Thank God the disaster calls us up for the meaning of love.
      Another word most frequently used after that September day is "united". Regardless of races, all were collecting, standing in lines to give their blood, holding hands when prayers.  Strangers no longer were cold.  They began to talk and might become friends. The distance between people seems to be shortened. If you call it magic, it does happen! The circle of our life cannot still be fixed in the certain area any . The community is made up of ry person living in it;no one alone
should stand for the collectivity. It's high time to be united to rebuild their homeland.
     Facing the ruin of the WTC, I hear the calling telling me what really matters. Looking up to heaven, I seem to get some kind of answers.

简  评
    这篇文章的语言不错，思路应该也算清晰。主体部分是对9．11事件的反思，提出时代呼唤更多的英雄、人们需要关爱和社会需要团结三个主要观点。但这三点思想似乎关系并不密切，放在一起使人感觉牵强。另外，进入主题太慢。文章第一和第二段让人有些不知所云。作为汉语，这样也许不错；但英语则更多讲究开门见山。
    (点评教师：汪中平)